hardcore interracial cuddling

2treehill:

small fries from mcdonalds is no way to live

dampsandwich:

“Sir do you have any idea how fast you were going”
“My wife is pregnat”
“thats a blow up doll”

nayx:

this is so illegal.  we’re going to get in so much trouble.  you cant just steal all the sand from the beach and replace it with bread crumbs

agayboy:

did it hurt when u fell from heaven bc it hurt when i did

burgrs:

baddogsrus:

burgrs:

if u smash snails on purpose ur a fuckin piece of shit they are tiny cuties trying 2 get somewhere as fast as they can pls help them out 

um excuse me have you ever had a garden because those fuckers will fuck your shit up i mean they totally ruined an entire row of my broccoli plants in one night i am not even fucking around about my broccoli fuck snails 

urbancatfitters:

slytherin-starkid-of-tardis:

urbancatfitters:

everyone is embarrassed of their fourteen year old self trust me if you’re fourteen right now you will regret whatever it is that you are doing at this moment

What, being a SuperWhoLockian, Tumblrian, and just being generally pretty good? I don’t think so.

screenshot this and look at it in 3 years

the other night i had a pomegranate margarita and it tasted like raspberry vinaigrette fuckin salad dressing so moral of the story is don’t god damn buy kirkland pomegranate margarita

doglets:

sext: sorry just got this text haha. do u still have a boner?

The yeezus promo would have been really excellent if Scott wasn’t squeaking and screaming the whole time

modestdemidov:

babyferaligator:

gastroclon:

babyferaligator:

what did the mama pig give her baby pig for its rash?

pigs are commonly known for rolling around in dirt, but there’s a reason for this. Pigs skin is very sensitive, the harshness of their environment can result in rashes and often sunburns. Pigs use mud to help relieve pain and protect their skin. Since piglets are even more delicate, mother pigs will often roll their pigs in mud right after birth.

NO THEY GIVE THEM OINKMENT

meladoodle:

*doctor voice* alright now PUUUSH PUUUSSHH.. good, thanks for that, i have no idea who put that giant boulder in front of the delivery room, but lets get you in there.

meladoodle:

meladoodle:

someone once called me a shameless self promoter.. me?? melanie meladoodle??? meladoodle.tumblr.com? 

reblogging so everyone can see how shocked i am! me… melanie meladoodle. 

i’m a piece of shit i’m the worst piece of shit i’m such a piece of shit

if a real life couple is your “otp” i’m gonna shit in your mouth

3ridan:

you know what really annoys me

when famous youtubers/tumblr users/celebrities etc are in a relationship with someone

and the fan base says they ‘dont like that ship’ or ‘they dont ship it’

its like HOLY SHIT STOP YOU FUCKING FREAKS

THAT IS A REAL RELATIONSHIP

THIS IS NOT A JOKE, THIS IS NOT A CARTOON OR A COMIC OR A TV SHOW

THIS IS SOMEONES REAL LIFE RELATIONSHIP WHO THEY HAVE REAL FEELINGS WITH

YOU CAN’T SAY YOU DONT LIKE THAT SHIP BECAUSE’S YOU CAN’T

STOP

YO IT’S WEIRD TO “SHIP” IT TOO IF YOU SHIP A REAL LIFE RELATIONSHIP IT’S ALSO WEIRD AS SHIT JUST STOP INVOLVING YOURSELVES IN OTHER PEOPLE’S RELATIONSHIP HOOOLLLYYYY WOWWW

sunjolras:

so like

if you ever want to unfollow me

for literally any reason

you can do that

i want you to have a nice dash

i want you to have the freedom to create the space here that you want to have

if you don’t want to unfollow, but want something tagged, just send an ask

i have anon on for a reason 

that’s all sweet honeychildren

Why don’t you make like a subway sandwich and leave me the provolone

egg-rolls:

one time i got a sample from the tea store at the mall and as i walked away the guy said “tea you later” and then his coworker smacked him

officialtexasroadhouse:

slydig:

i love eating ass 

Eat some steak!

worcaholics:

judgementdays:

why is this whole website suddenly obsessed w/ cotton eyed joe

Yeah like where did it come from where did it go

funny blog click fo r a fun ny blog fu n y do oyu like to laugh/????? fuck you